With all of the craziness of the end of the term/work/finals/life, people told me not to worry about wedding planning and just take it all in and start planning down the road.
Clearly, they’ve never met my betrothed. Or me. Not going to happen.
The Dude (aka Doug, now that we’re getting hitched he said I can say his name on the interwebz 
) is a planner. Not like a control-freak, OCD, “OH MY GOD WILL THEY GET MY VISION?!” type of planner (unlike someone we know….)
He’s a laid back, “I want everyone to have a kick-ass time so let’s figure out how to do that” planner. His nickname among his friends during and after college was “Social Chair” because he was the one to organize, socialize and plan trips, outings, dinners and get-togethers. He started planning our Christmas party in August. And it was frigging awesome (more on that soon…I realize it is June).
This attitude also translates into being very involved in the planning process for our wedding – which I HIGHLY appreciate. I’m not the one having to make all of the decisions (which would give me major anxiety) and it’s not just about me, it’s about US.
I’ve noticed that a pervasive wedding media message sent towards brides is: “It’s your day! Do what YOU want!” and it’s really interesting to me. Yeah, it is “my day”….but it’s also Doug’s day and the start of our marriage. It’s a day for our families to come together and become one big giant family. It’s a day for the friends that we keep telling “You know my friend so-and-so? You would totally love them” to actually meet one another. It’s a day for fun, love, food, meaning and promises – NOT just a day all about me.
In that vein, we’ve planned almost all of our big things in the almost-two months that we’ve been engaged. Date, budget, ceremony/reception location, colors, style/theme, centerpieces, photographer, caterer, bridal party and attire…I know there’s 7000 other to-do’s to cross off our list, but it feels good to have so many things figured out already – and we still have a year to go
I’ve known that we make a great team, but it’s really fun to see it play out in the planning process. We split things up pretty evenly and naturally, in that one of us ended up finding the caterer and one of us found the photographer, etc. so that neither of us is overwhelmed. We also try to remind each other of what’s important (like when I found out HOW MUCH flowers cost!?!) and have VERY creative and excited family and friends to help us! I know I’m going to need a lot of help in the next year, when I’m working, finishing my last year of school and planning this shindig so I feel good starting to ask for it now!
If you planned a wedding or are currently planning one, what’s your biggest piece of advice!!
Last week was sort of a hiatus week, with the holiday and other things going on. Week 2 was my attempt to stop drinking sweetened drinks like iced chai.
It didn’t go so well. I had probably a handful of iced teas and a few iced chais. I discovered that I was substituting the sweetened drinks and chais for coffee. Because I wasn’t drinking any coffee, I thought I needed to sub more chai or tea in the afternoon because I would get tired. I’m still trying to figure out this balance, but I ended up drinking a coffee a day and that was it. It seemed to work in that I wasn’t drinking nearly as many “other” beverages…but it still means I’m drinking coffee! I think I’m okay with this if it means less sweetened drinks and just one caffieneated beverage a day!
Week 2 Results:
I can’t even quantify how many drinks I had…so let’s just say 4/7 days I did well!
57% (yowch!)
Week 3
This week I’m going to work on tracking my meals!
Why: Tracking my meals really helps me to know what/how much I’ve been eating. It also helps me to remember to eat various food groups and more veggies, since I’ve been in the habit of eating for convenience and not for health in the past few months. I think we’ve all heard that keeping a food log/tracking meals is a key to eating better/healthier!
How: I have a super cute Moleskin notebook that I love and will be tracking my meals in it at the end of the day. I’m going to keep it on my bedside table so I can remember to jot things down when I go to sleep. I’ve also been using Instagram a lot lately (name: EMac83) and will post pictures of meals that way!
What’re you working on this week?!
Pick the things that are most important to the two of you, for us it is food, wine, friends, and everyone having a fantastic time. We are having 80 people, in a backyard and really fantastic food, wine and everyone will be dancing.
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Your wedding sounds like it’s going to be so wonderful, Mellissa
So true – it’s way too much/hard to worry about everything being important!
My biggest piece of advice is: if you are having an outdoor wedding or reception hire a wedding planner. It may seem like a waste of money since you two are “planners” but when it started pouring an hour into the reception (half the tables were outside of the tent) she was on top of it, didn’t freak out, made the mother of the bride sit down and not help move tables and had everything under the tent and reorganized in 5 minutes. Its like having someone else to worry about and take care of all that day’s details so you can focus on your love, family and friends. ALSO, do a receiving line/dismiss people by rows after the ceremony so that you don’t have to visit every table at the reception and miss out on eating! My SIL said that was her biggest regret because they didn’t eat anything all night since they were so busy making sure they saw and thanked everyone. Best wishes!
Hi Jenny! That is a really great tip! We’re having an indoor reception/ceremony if only because I would be so nervous for that exact reason, ha! I’ve been debating the receiving line and that’s definitely a pro, in that you can say hi to people first thing and not worry about it later in the evening. We’re having a buffet, so we were thinking of doing a “receiving line” while people are waiting to get their food, since they’re standing there anyway. Thanks for visiting my blog and for the tips!
I’ve been playing along with the 10 week turn around from over here. This week, I’m focusing on getting some FREGGIES back in my life. It seems like the past several weeks very few fruits and vegetable saw my plate and I’m determined to CHANGE THAT this week. Thanks for keeping me motivated to make good choices for my health!!
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Yayyyyy Heather!! Yes. Freggies. That is my issue right now too – and that’s what I’m working on for next week!! Totally hear you
We planned a wedding for about 100 people in about 2 weeks (if you meshed all the days together.) The key for us was figuring out what we really wanted, not what society said we needed. We did a lot of DIY – invites, placecards (with NO seating chart) favors (chocolate bars) and skipped out the things we didn’t feel was needed – save the dates, programs (small wedding = don’t know someone in the bridal party just ASK), limo.
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Aw. Doug is the “Social Chair”. I miss you guys.
WE MISS YOU!!!
I love your outlook on the wedding—how it’s a day for both of you, not just you. It is the first day of your marriage, after all! You guys are obviously off to a great start; I can’t wait to hear more about the process!
And I like the tracking meals idea, especially this week. This week = my head feels like it’s exploding. I suppose focusing on healthy eating couldn’t hurt, right? ; )
Hillary recently posted..Life, Lately
My big piece of wedding advice is to book as many vendors as possible as early as possible – which you’ve already done! That’ll give you a chunk of several months when you won’t have to even WORRY about anything wedding-related, which in my case coincided right when I was starting to get tired of all of the wedding crap. I was able to step away from it, take a break, and then jump in for all of the last-minute little things later in the summer. You’re also using the help that you have, so I think you’re all set! As long as both of you are excited about it, you’ll have an absolute blast.
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I got married almost two years ago….. my husband and I kind of felt like jerks doing the whole registry thing, but then just went with it because we knew our guests want to wish us well, and also that we would end up getting some crazy stuff we really didn’t want otherwise.
We did register, got lots of nice grownup kitchen items, and basically no weird gifts at all! Also, I am a bad delegator, so asking friends to help out the day of the wedding doing various things was important and really great. Congratulations on your engagement!
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